December 4, 2008

Sadly misinformed about the 1960's

Again another long post (these MRAs sure can talk) but worthy of a post on Glenn's Cult simply because he does not understand anything (again this is based upon reading his post):

David G Says:

December 3rd, 2008 at 8:38 pm
The step-father's perspective?
He falls in love with a beautiful woman, and despite the fact that she's a single mom, with the 1960s stigma attached to it, decides to marry her and take on the burden of her children.
However, shortly after the wedding, the horrible truth rears its head. She doesn't love him it at all. Clearly she was is only prostituting herself, using him as a wallet. He realises he has now become enslaved to a parasite.
Bitterness, resentment and anger builds from both sides, and fights become a daily occurrence. She becomes violent but he cant retaliate as he knows he will quickly end up in jail. He is at his wits end, with nowhere to turn, his only escape is alcohol and gambling.
One day he realises he cant take it any more, the pressure is too much to bear.
So he disappears, getting as far away from this nightmare as he can. He loves his children but he knows she has probably poisoned their minds. He can never see them again.
http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3009#comment-607513

Now where will I start? Okay how about this one:

He falls in love with a beautiful woman, and despite the fact that she's a single mom, with the 1960s stigma attached to it, decides to marry her and take on the burden of her children.

Actually back then (and even as recent as the 1980's in some areas) men who married divorced or widowed women, were looked at as saints. My father died when I was very young (and so was he) and my mother remarried 4 years later. My stepfather was looked at as a saint due to him taking on the 5 children my mother brought with her.

She becomes violent but he cant retaliate as he knows he will quickly end up in jail.

Again this is incorrect. Back in the 1960's and 1970's there were few outlets for women to turn to in cases of dv. Being another of those statistics, I know this quite well. My natural father was abusive and my own mother was very similar to this woman's mother. Only thing is she did not sock it to my dad. She absorbed much of the abuse he inflicted upon myself and my siblings, On rare occasions she would stand up to dad. One such occasion was when my father was drunk and my mother was worried about paying rent. We were fairly well off (I realize this now) and my dad had a huge amount of money which was to be used to pay bills. He decided to go drinking at the local bar and to appease my mother he brought me along, "to hold the money." Well that would have been good had I been 16 or older. As it was I was only 10. He then proceeded to get snookered drunk and could not drive. Our options:
1. Take a taxi
2. Someone else drive

We took option 2 and guess who drove?

Thankfully my mother saw the damage (probably too late as nearly all of her children have been involved in abusive adult relationships to some degree or another (yes including my brother - I do not deny abuse happens to men). Long story short: She left, he followed and he quit drinking and straightened up his life. For me it was enough. For my mother it depended on how she felt. For my other siblings it ranged from them not even remembering him well enough to hatred of him due to his withdrawal (before when he was drinking).
He loves his children but he knows she has probably poisoned their minds. He can never see them again.

Now I can say that my mother on occasion tried to get all of us to see our father how he was. She was not around after he changed during those times he spent with us and in her mind it was too little too late (and this was not all the time, there were times her love for him shined through). I can say that no matter what my mother said about him even with having to drive nearly 30 miles home on several major highways, I was never swayed by my mother's negative opinions about him. In fact, when she was speaking positively of him, we would reminisce of his good points and the fun times we had as a family. I just ignored the negativity. In fact I think this has contributed to me always trying to see the good in people (with only a few exceptions, including rabid MRAs) and has probably led to my abusive relationship.



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