December 15, 2008

Not Aagain............New Study: Father engagement vital to children’s wellbeing

"Children with fathers are less likely to commit crimes or engage in aggressive behavior, are less likely to become homeless later in life, have significantly higher IQs, have fewer psychological problems, are less likely to use tobacco, and have better relationships and educational outcomes than are their fatherless counterparts." (LINK)

It reviews longitudinal studies comprising over 22,000 datasets and finds that children who live with fathers who are actively engaged in their lives and care tend to do better than those without.

Does this include the 1 in 4 husbands of women who are abused? Statistically 1 in 4 women will be abused by a significant other in their lifetime. So lets assume that 75% of these are the husband. How do these children fare? LINK HERE and HERE. The studies reviewed for this document provide strong evidence that children who witness domestic violence at home also exhibit a variety of behavioral, emotional, cognitive and longer-term developmental problems. Each child will experience adult domestic violence in unique ways depending on a variety of factors that include direct physical abuse of the child, his or her gender and age, the time since exposure to violence, and his or her relationship with adults in the home. (LINK 1)

Rather than fight child support and a child's need for a place to call home, why do these dads not try to get help for their issues and work with the mother, rather than DEMAND "their rightful place in society?" Women have been and will continue to be the presumed caretakers of children. It is only in rare cases that the roles are reversed. And while we are on this subject, why is it that parents do not take on the roles that were active during the marriage, rather than have long drawn out battles for custody? All to get out of paying a few dollars to the mother for child support? Seems slightly less than intelligent to spend 200,000 (or more) to keep from paying 100,000 dollars in child support. But then again that is just me, what do I know because according to most of these men and their supporters, I am only a woman who is against them therefore I have no brains. We have men who were content to leave mom at home caring for the house and children, cooking meals, cleaning, doing all household duties (paying bills, appointments, etc). Now that there is a divorce looming and he has been accused of abuse of either the mother or the child(ren) he will not fight this tooth and nail. Seems pretty sad to me. Sad that all the money wasted by these men could have been put to better use.

In closing, if men would contribute before, during and after marriage to the family, children would be better off. Contributing is nore than just providing a paycheck and coming home to scream at the mom about whatever has grabbed your fancy. It is more than slamming her around while your children cower in a corner. It is more than belittling your wife or children because of some imagined wrong on their part. Stand up and be a man. You constantly whine about not being allowed to be a dad. Act like on instead of some sperm donor who feels the result from that donation is your property. The child is NOT your property and neither is the mother to that child. Get over yourself already.

UPDATE:I should also note that the researchers behind this study are:
Anna Sarkadi
Robert Kristiansson
Frank Oberklaid and
Sven Bremberg. I did google searches on all of these people and in the first 5 pages of results not one mention was made of a mother. Children - yes. Fathers - yes. Mothers - NO. What are mothers to these "scientists" one must wonder? Incubators?


Mom said...

Mothers are only considered "walking wombs" to these people...

Glenn's Cult? said...

I agree. If there ever comes a time when a mother is not needed for pregnancy and childbirth we will be banned. This might seem like an extreme opinion to some but it is quickly progressing to that point.