5 (Editor Note - Post Number)
January 10th, 2009 at 11:08 am
In the United States, unlike many other countries in the world, divorce is unilateral (one person decides) and no-fault (no reason needed). In addition the woman in this government sponsored action is richly rewarded by her decision to divorce. In a marriage, it is not if she will divorce him, it's when.
The single dad movement is a consequence of this, but it is spit in the ocean.
The single mother is the hope of the future. The money is on the table and the bet made, as there are now more families with single mothers as leaders than any other arrangement.
At the end of the day kids need and want their natural father and mother.
Quite ironically there is a post above this one which the MAN says that he speaks to his female friends and they all know they have the upper hand in a divorce. Must not be where I live, because all the women I speak to know they do NOT have the upper hand. I only have one comment towards this poster....You state that one person can decide to end the marriage and that person need not list any reason whatsoever. Well I did not want to end my divorce, I just wanted to end the abuse. So I guess under your theory, I could have been able to and should have been able to - end my marriage. And what of the children in our marriage? Should they continue to see father abusing mother? I cut nearly all contact with father out except for court ordered times and there is no abuse in my house. The rare exception is when contact is made by abusive dad. Children go to dads hosue and what happens there? Dad is Disneyland daddy. Dad badmouths mom. Dad tells children - you are just like your mom and then later goes on to say how bad mom is. What messages are being sent with his hate spewing. Children return to mother and a sort of deprogramming must take place. Children whine, scream, hit, abuse animals, refuse to comply with simple requests (pick up your toys, take a bath, time for friends to go home, time to wash clothes, time to set table, time for bed). After a few days of deprogramming the children are now back and whatever was sent home from dads has disappeared. Children ask what they can do to help - mom can I do dishes tonight? Mom see my room it is spotless (well not exactly spotless but at least you can walk on the floor without stepoping on cars, legos, or dolls). We then have about 6 or 7 good days - children do the few chores and their homework - and then the down cycle starts again. Children know that "dad" time is quickly approaching so they revert back to the "I don't have to do this". While the violence displayed when returning from dad's house is not as prevelanty it is still there to a degree. Child then goes to dad's and the cycle begins anew.
Should this child be exposed to the nastiness at dad's simply because he has rights? What rights does this child have?
6 (Editor Note - Post Number)
January 10th, 2009 at 11:16 am
I am planning on having a baby using a surrogate in 3-4 years.
I do agree however that it is a pretty expensive way to go: IVF will cost you $100,000 a pop, and is not guaranteed to work out (i.e. you may have to try multiple times).
Another alternative: have the same woman carry the baby and give her egg. It costs a lot less ($10,000 I think??) but comes with very high risk. If the mother decides to keep the baby at the end, the court will most likely grant it to her over the surrogate agreement, and you'd be liable for child support without ever seeing your child - not even for a day. That's a pretty horrible scenario!
Finally, taking care of a baby is a lot of work, if you want to keep your job, you have to pay for day care ($1,600 / month) or a maid (same amount but you need an extra bedroom).
And don't forget that baby clothes, food are very expensive too :)
So you need at least a 3-bedroom house (if you want a live-in maid), plus $200,000 for the medical procedure (2 tries), plus at least an extra $2,000 per month to pay the maid and baby needs.
It's not cheap, but if you can afford it, there is no doubt that it is the smartest thing to do (in my opinion anyway).
Please see my previous post on this cultist. Now words that time - no words this time. Don't need any, his insanity speaks for itself.
9 (Editor Note - Post Number)
January 10th, 2009 at 11:53 am
There are options, you just have to be creative ;-)
For one, you can have the procedure done in a country where medical costs are a fraction of what they are in the US (think Russia or India).
Two, you can rack up some credit card debt to finance this; so what if you can't pay it back? Will they repossess your kids? Of course not.
Single parents have a lot of state and federal programs available for them, check them out.
Four, don't you think that your parents would love to baby sit your kids? That may be a way to save on the day care / maid..
More of this wonderful rhetoric from Male Supremists - take kids away from mom (or in this case make mom non-existent from the start) and get your family to 'babysit'. More of this logic can be seen here.
13 (Editor Note - Post Number)
Rev. Richard Says:
January 10th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I'm a single father, and have been for seven years. There are some economic issues, but what really keeps us strong is keeping a positive relationship between their mother and I. They talk all the time on the phone and have a yahoo chat account to communicate with her as well.
If it were up to me, I wouldn't have become a single parent, but my daughter is really a happy child and knows she's loved by both of us.
This is all well and good Rev. Richard. I am happy for you. Now what do you say to all the women out here whose exes are extremely controlling and abusive? What do you say to the women whose exes said one thing before marriage, and then quickly flip-flopped after she was being controlled by him? Oh I know, women ALL lie about being abused, women ALL lie about how bad men are in order to get the best settlement from divorce possible. That is TRULY how all MRA acticists believe.