Showing posts with label "He Said She Said". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "He Said She Said". Show all posts

February 27, 2009

Ahhh this poor poor man - his ex wife used to "say" things that would provoke him...


4
Sad Dad Says:

February 25th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
My ex used to fire off from the mouth some horrible things to provoke me to hit her then use it against me to benifit her own agenda. I did not do what she wanted. I left her and she walk away with everything any ways.


Okay now this man appears to be justifying his physical assaults of his ex wife due to her supposed bad comments?



January 29, 2009

Collins - an examination of the facts

Glenn Sacks states that the first problem is that Holly has made complaints of abuse against a wide variety of people. On this list are her mother, stepfather, an old landlord, a neighbor in the Netherlands, The new wife of Mark, Mark, and Jeff Imm. Okay so she has made those claims. Just because she says they are true and they say they are not true does not make them any less true. I have lived over 4 decades and in the course of that time have run up against some extremely caring people, and I have met some very nasty people. In terms of what is considered abusive, what I might feel is abusive, someone else might not think the same. So why is it up to an outsider to determine if Holly felt abused? I will not even argue this position with someone of Glenn's caliber. If a man says he was abused, it is believed by Glenn and by all of his cult (well some of his cult I should say because Glenn does allow a few posters who dissent on his forum, just so he can keep it interesting).

Problem two he claims is that Holly has made a variety of violence claims in several courts and they all have found against her. Again this means nothing as women in today's culture are very often found not credible due to the emotional aspect of these issues.

Batterers naturally strive to turn mediation and GAL processes to their advantage, through the use of various tactics. Perhaps the most common is to adopt the role of a hurt, sensitive man who doesn't understand how things got so bad and just wants to work it all out "for the good of the children." He may cry in front of the mediator or GAL and use language that demonstrates considerable insight into his own feelings. He is likely to be skilled at explaining how other people have turned the victim against him, and how she is denying him access to the children as a form of revenge, "even though she knows full well that I would never do anything to hurt them." He commonly accuses her of having mental health problems, and may state that her family and friends agree with him. The two most common negative characterizations he will use are that she is hysterical and that she is promiscuous. The abuser tends to be comfortable lying, having years of practice, and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits to the detriment of his children if the court representative fails to look closely at the evidence - or ignores it - because of his charm. He also benefits when professionals believe that they can "just tell" who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.


Excerpt from Lundy Bancroft UNDERSTANDING THE BATTERER IN CUSTODY AND VISITATION DISPUTES

In other words Holly was found even less credible with every allegation she raised. Just because this happens in court (according to a leading domestic violence expert) does not mean that a woman (specifically Holly) is lying about abuse. It could very well mean that Mark has played the abuser card, managed to woo the evaluators into his corner by doing as Bancroft has stated. He wowed them with his concern and knowledge and his care for the children 'appeared' to be that of a good father. Just because he appears to be a good father does not make him a good father. Glenn also states that any litigant is able to get an RO simply for whoing up. This is not true at all. In my own case I have attempted to get 2 RO's after the original permanent one was dropped by the judge and I could not even get a temporary order. In fact, in the second order I was told that obnoxious behavior is not against the law. So point two has now been countered. It is highly possible that due to Holly's naivete of court procedures and that the fact that once a court finds against you more than 2 or 3 times, any further reports will be viewed in the same light. Kind of a reverse boy who cried wolf if you will. She cried once without enough documentation (you see courts want proof even though this is civil court and only a preponderance of the allegations should have to be proven, many times the courts and the officers of the courts rely on the standard for criminal courts - beyond a reasonable doubt. Reasonable doubt is possible in all cases of dv due to the very hidden nature of this crime).

Glenn then states that Zachary sustained the alleged injury not from his father, but at an amusement park. He sustained TWO (repeat 2, not 1 but 2!!!!) head injuries. The first was at the amusement park, but the second was by his father. So here we go again with leaving ut parts of the truth and only saying what you think the reader should hear (talk about your censorship).

Glenn then says issue number 4 is that a reputable child psychiatrist disputes Holly's claims. he (the psychiatrist says this because the children appear to be doing well under the father's care while the father had custody. Do you the reader honestly think that Mark would be kicking the children's dog, slamming their heads into walls, punching and shoving Holly with a psychiatrist present. Also we must look at this logically. We are talking about 2 young children here. What if this scenario was present instead. Dad abuses child and then tells child, if you tell on me they will take you away from me, your mom is crazy so you won't go with her. Then father attempts to woo child by buying child something or promising to not abuse. This is typical of your batterer and the honeymoon, escalation and abuse cycles. The abuser escalates in his anger and violence until you have the actual incidents of violence. he then enters into the honeymoon phase. If an adult victim can be wowed by this and think things will change, how is a child to react? Jennifer and Zachary were quite probably scared out of their wits. The issues of child abuse and domestic violence have been around since creation, only to be recognized as such in the 20Th century. In fact, child abuse was not viewed as a crime and the first documented case of child abuse was brought on by the ASPCA in the late 1800's. However, the system is far from perfect. In reading Jennifer's website, we see that Zachary spoke to his therapist/psychiatrist about his fears of his father. And yet again we have a professional who cannot see the writing on the wall. Jennifer and Zachary have both disproved Glenn on this point clearly and without a doubt. I will now drop this due to their requests. Future posts will not be entertained. I wish Jennifer all the best. I wish Zachary all the best. I wish Holly all the best. I also pray that God puts a veil of protection over this family and keeps them safe from the harm that might occur from these rabid father's rights groups. These groups and those who run them really should get a life.



January 13, 2009

More minimumization by an abuser?

Even if this Court disregards Mrs. XXX mental instability, the only portions of the State’s petition which her testimony could even remotely be considered to support are the State’s allegations that Mr. XXX had hit Mrs. XXX and left bruises on her, that Mr. XXX hit one of the children with his cane in either June or July of 2004, and that Mr. XXX had used hot sauce as a punishment upon two of the children.

and

The next witness called by the State was XXX XXX, the father of the minor children. Mr. XXX consistently denied all of the allegations contained within the petition, other than the hot sauce punishment. As to the hot sauce punishment, Mr. XXX submitted into evidence a parenting book wherein the hot sauce punishment is recommended. Whether this Court or any other may be morally opposed to said punishment is irrelevant, to adjudicate children deprived because someone followed the recommendations of a nationally published parenting book is improper.

and

The next witness called was the paternal aunt of the children, XXX XXX. According to Ms. XXX testimony, she and her brother are estranged. There is even a protective order in place between them. Accordingly, it seems clear that Ms. XXX would say or do anything to sully the character of Mr. XXX. Accordingly, her testimony should not be considered “competent” evidence.


Now, one must ask, is this indeed another abuser out to minimize his own actions? Or is he another one of the lunatic fringe MRA/FRs who feels he was justified? By his own words he feels he was justified in using a hot sauce punishment on at least 2 of his own children. Now in this blogger's opinion, that is tantamount to abuse of the worst kind. Imagine the horror about being given something by your parent, someone you trust, only to suffer the horrid taste and possible effects of hot sauce poisoning? One must also wonder what book TELLS a parent to torture their child with hot sauce?

One must also wonder why his sister is so dead set against him? Could it be she is one of those who find abuse morally repugnant and find those who would commit such evil acts morally bankrupt?



UPDATE!!!!

A quick web search has revealed that Focus on the Family might very well be the author of this questionable activity of using Hot Sauce as a disciplinary method on a child.


December 20, 2008

Not reading again...............



"There's no question that his violence preceded any of his out-of-the-mainstream sexual activities. But these activities seem to have exacerbated to some degree what was going on. They seemed to increase and send him into a rage."


and

A private investigator found the transvestite whom Sheehan visited upstate, shortly after pushing his wife out of the car and disappearing from a football game they were supposed to attend, Dowd said.


and lastly

"What we do care about is if you're doing this and coming back in a rage and taking it out on my client. Then it becomes material. We want that evidence."


I guess these commenters (and possibly even the man himself) cannot read the article which is linked from Sacks' website. THREE (3) mentions of extreme physical abuse are mentioned in the article which is linked from Sacks' website.
  • First reference: They sent him into a rage - a rage against whom?
  • Pushing his wife out of the car? Pushing and out of car in ONE sentence....
  • Coming back in a rage and taking it out on client.

    LINK TO ACTUAL ARTICLE

    The whole point here is that nearly every single commenter on this post is not seeing what is being stated. The defense attorney is saying that this man was extremely phsyically abusive to his wife because of these sexual deviances. Not just forcing her to particpate, in fact I do NOT see particpation mentioned but once in the original article. I do however see mentioned three times that this man was abusive PHYSICALLY towards her. Is any further comment necessary? Not from me but my readers please share..........
  • December 15, 2008

    A commenter on my blog makes a comment that is so true

    Many times we will read on many father's rights websites about men who are being treated savagely and inhumanely in family courts across the land. These posts often leave out material items. I am discussing a recent mens rights blog post. This blog post discusses a man who has been jailed over child support issues. He has issues which have caused him to be unable to pay support. Now if what happened to him is true, why did he not contact any mainstream newspapers or television reporters? If he did so please feel free to post the link here (only mainstream websites - not "mens rights" sites). His savior is also engaging in slightly less than stellar performance by publishing the ex-wife's personal information via their website. If this man wants to put his information on the Internet, then that is his prerogative. However his ex-wife should be able to pursue a case against him as well as this website for exposing her information in this fashion. There are ways to go about this and to publish documents with personal information without the approval of the person to which they pertain is against the law. Now I wonder if the "savior" site will black out the offending personal information, or if our site will be attacked yet again?

    Also of mention is the fact that there were several cases against the man mentioned in this story, beginning in 2000.

    I challenge all sites that contain links to this information to remove the offending "personal" information and black it out if these documents must be published.



    December 4, 2008

    Now what should we do?

    Poor Glenn. He is so despondent over the fact that he has banned me from posting on his site.

    Glenn’s Cult Writes “I tried speaking on Sacks website, then realized I had been banned. I have been told that if I reveal personal information about me in a place I do not feel safe that my permissions will be reinstated.”

    Actually, “Glenn’s Cult” was permitted to publish hundreds of critical comments on my website. However, she repeatedly violated rule # 1 of My Rules on Blog Comments prohibiting “Personal attacks.”

    Normally when someone violates the rules I send them a note explaining what the violation was. If they continue over and over again, I’ll ban them, but usually not until they’ve had several chances. Because “Glenn’s Cult” refused to leave a valid email address, I had no way of communicating with her after she violated the rules, so eventually I got tired of wasting time and banned her.

    She could come back if she wants, but only with a valid email address.

    BTW, a valid email address–which I ask for from all posters–is all she means when she says I’m demanding that she “reveal personal information.” Another example (sigh) of how feminists twist and distort simple, reasonable things I do. –GS


    http://www.amptoons.com/blog/archives/2008/12/02/anti-feminists-protest-domestic-violence-awareness-ads-in-dallas/#comment-346797


    I would love to know where I personally attacked anyone (I recall it was more like defending myself). But that is neither here nor there. Numerous of his followers have stated that he deleted those comments so what proof does either side have of these attacks. Again, this boils down to a he said she said situation. Hmmmm where does that sound familiar? Anyone care to hazard a guess where he said she said is prevelant?



    NOTE: I should note here that I have published a true and accesible email on several blogs (Alas, Womanist Musings, Randi James, and many more) and Glenn still has me blocked. He has in fact taken the route of blocking all people from posting links to their own sites and has removed all link to others sites on his blog in order to be "protective" of his followers. Jim Jones was protective of his followers also. Well until they drank the koolaid.

    enter