Louise Uccio - sisters in a battle - but what side?

I have been reading your blog and I see you are a mother torn in half by an abuser. I can also see no amount of pleading will get you to climb down from your PAS tree. You see I know this because I have to force my children to visit the abuser, these children come home and are terrorized by him as much if not more than I was. They are also traumatized by his new wife as well. This runs the gamut from telling old stories about me to them (mostly in an attempt to scare) or finding any excuse that can be found to get the state involved with this case. Then there are the extreme cases of attempted control and manipulation. LU, I have two prayers for you in your own case. The first is that you will see that by claiming PA/PAS you are HELPING the abusers. Women just do not suffer as a targeted parent in PAS cases. Gardner assured that this would be so.

Historically he presented PAS as a hysterical women who was claiming the father was sexually abusing the child. It has grown in recognition because there have been psychologists available (money grubbers) who will perpetuate this myth. You are not a good way to perpetuate this myth since you have very little money. Does your abuser have money? Have family who has money? These are important questions because this is generally one of the several factors of PAS abuse cases. Then if you look at what constitutes true PAS according to the abusers, women who have lost custody to abusive men are being handed down severe cases of PAS. But they cannot say anything (they are ignored) because men cannot commit PAS according to the KING of PAS.

What we have simply suggested to you LU and many others like you, is keep track of all statements made by the abuser, his family, your children, etc. These statements are abuse (mental abuse). Please do not give abusive men any more rope with which to hang more victims. By you touting PAS, by you saying this is what is happening in your case, you give an abusive man more rope with which to hang another mother.

Your children are suffering from ABUSE - and that abuse does have a name.....Maternal Deprivation. There have been studies done on this - studies which have been peer reviewed (not like Gardner's studies which were published in his vanity press). Claiming PA/PAS gives the next abusive man the ability to remove a child from his or her mother and continue to allow children to suffer as your do, as mine do, as many thousands of children suffer.

I want a better world for my children, I do not want my daughters to have to be chained to an abusive man. I want them to be able to leave if they have to do so and be able to still raise the children if there are any.

I have thought much like you - my ex badmouths me to the children, I should claim PAS. But who would that help? Might help us temporarily, but sadly these men always win in the end. Our money runs out and unless we are extreme fighters, moms and the children lose. So I blog, I empower the children to say no to abuse. I give the children the freedom to ask questions and discover on their own what is happening. I am also keeping great records for when these children come of age.

There are many groups out there available to help moms in your position. Align with those groups rather than helping the pro-abuser campaigns.

Legally Kidnapped......

Have you committed the crime of giving birth to a male who would eventually grow up to father a child? If so, I wanted to bring your attention to this particular blog post from Glens Cult.

Well LK, the particular grandmother of which I am speaking wants to steal the child away from his or her mother and this infant is only 10 weeks old. This is barely enough time for the child to be bonding with the mother. There is also no mention of whether the mother is breastfeeding the infant. Here is what La Leche League has to say about breastfeeding:

A mother and her baby should breastfeed for as long as they wish to breastfeed. The American Academy of Pediatrics currently (2005) recommends: "Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child." * As solids are introduced, usually around the middle of the first year, your baby will shift his primary source of nutrition from your milk to other foods.

All the benefits of human milk—including nutritional and health—continue for as long as your baby receives your milk. In fact, as your baby takes less human milk, these advantages are condensed into what milk is produced. Many of the health benefits of human milk are dose related, that is, the longer the baby receives human milk, the greater are the benefits.
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/bflength.html

They also have this to say about breastfeeding and visits away:

Breastfeeding is an important parenting and health choice for mothers and babies. But when parents separate or divorce, conflicts may arise between the mother's desire to continue breastfeeding and the father's plans for visitation. However, breastfeeding can be protected in family law cases without sacrificing the father's bond with his children. Babies need the love of both their parents, and it should be unnecessary for the courts to pick one relationship over the other, when both are so important.

http://www.llli.org/Law/LawVisitation.html

So as you can see LK, forcing long periods of visitation/parenting time on a brand new baby who could possibly be breastfeeding is not a good idea. Yes the father should be allowed to bond with this child as (providing he is NOT ABUSIVE), but for this paternal grandmother to suggest she wants full custody of this child (in other words she wants to remove the child from his or her mother) is NOT right!!!!

I guess your blog - Legally Kidnapped - is not a misnomer after all, you truly do want to help people legally kidnap children.

Louise Uccio and your comments

I let the first one slide through since you were civil. While you were mostly civil in your second one, that one is staying right where it is. Sadly you have to believe what you believe. If your children are being brainwashed against you, that is abuse - no need to add a label to it. You say men and women are equally guilty of this, well the courts do not see it that way. I know of a lady who has suffered many losses in her life. Her abusive husband while in the midst of a divorce said some sick things to their children. One of the children was effected deeply by this, not allowing the mother near. It was proven in court that the dad had said these things (witnessed by CPS and many others), yet NOTHING was done to the father. The judge in that case simply told the mother she had best stop denying visitation to the father or she would be in jail - he did not take kindly to mothers alienating the children from the father.

So with that said (and again that was one of the worst cases I know of - there are thousands more. PAS is JUNK SCIENCE!!! Brainwashing, telling lies about the other parent to the child - IA ABUSE. Call it what it is. BUT!!!!!! If the parent who says there is brainwashing happening was abusive, then it is not abuse - it is SPEAKING THE TRUTH. Using junk science to further your own agenda is only playing into the abusers hands. So unless you have something to contribute with helping those who have been victimized - go back to NANCM or Glenn Sacks (since you like to frequent his blog and you can count on not being banned from there). Guess what? You are banned from here. Anyone who furthers the PAS agenda is not welcome here. We are attempting to discover ways to show how the court whores profit from taking children away from the protective parent (generally speaking - the mother), how to better assist the victims of domestic violence, and above all else - work towards children's rights - IE: THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD!