Louise Uccio - sisters in a battle - but what side?

I have been reading your blog and I see you are a mother torn in half by an abuser. I can also see no amount of pleading will get you to climb down from your PAS tree. You see I know this because I have to force my children to visit the abuser, these children come home and are terrorized by him as much if not more than I was. They are also traumatized by his new wife as well. This runs the gamut from telling old stories about me to them (mostly in an attempt to scare) or finding any excuse that can be found to get the state involved with this case. Then there are the extreme cases of attempted control and manipulation. LU, I have two prayers for you in your own case. The first is that you will see that by claiming PA/PAS you are HELPING the abusers. Women just do not suffer as a targeted parent in PAS cases. Gardner assured that this would be so.

Historically he presented PAS as a hysterical women who was claiming the father was sexually abusing the child. It has grown in recognition because there have been psychologists available (money grubbers) who will perpetuate this myth. You are not a good way to perpetuate this myth since you have very little money. Does your abuser have money? Have family who has money? These are important questions because this is generally one of the several factors of PAS abuse cases. Then if you look at what constitutes true PAS according to the abusers, women who have lost custody to abusive men are being handed down severe cases of PAS. But they cannot say anything (they are ignored) because men cannot commit PAS according to the KING of PAS.

What we have simply suggested to you LU and many others like you, is keep track of all statements made by the abuser, his family, your children, etc. These statements are abuse (mental abuse). Please do not give abusive men any more rope with which to hang more victims. By you touting PAS, by you saying this is what is happening in your case, you give an abusive man more rope with which to hang another mother.

Your children are suffering from ABUSE - and that abuse does have a name.....Maternal Deprivation. There have been studies done on this - studies which have been peer reviewed (not like Gardner's studies which were published in his vanity press). Claiming PA/PAS gives the next abusive man the ability to remove a child from his or her mother and continue to allow children to suffer as your do, as mine do, as many thousands of children suffer.

I want a better world for my children, I do not want my daughters to have to be chained to an abusive man. I want them to be able to leave if they have to do so and be able to still raise the children if there are any.

I have thought much like you - my ex badmouths me to the children, I should claim PAS. But who would that help? Might help us temporarily, but sadly these men always win in the end. Our money runs out and unless we are extreme fighters, moms and the children lose. So I blog, I empower the children to say no to abuse. I give the children the freedom to ask questions and discover on their own what is happening. I am also keeping great records for when these children come of age.

There are many groups out there available to help moms in your position. Align with those groups rather than helping the pro-abuser campaigns.