September 5, 2010

Another nosy Stepmonster - Rhonda aka

I only have a few comments about this email from (her name must be Rhonda - I assume). Rhonda - first you are a step parent. You have no right to force your insurance on this mother. If she is lying about her income then make your phone call. You know you want to do it. As far as the kid's lunches - what business is it of yours how much she pays? Again you are a step parent - so STEP BACK!! Last and most important you speak of how the biological mom is alienating the children. What do you call it when you are bitching about the money you think she should pay back? And the children know about that money? I guess it was okay for you to RECEIVE child support, but not for your new hubby to PAY child support. We know how it works honestly. Instead of going through your 2 page spiel about how blessed you THINK this teenager will be in your care, why don;t you just get HONEST and admit you are pissy about her getting any of your husband's money. You want to make a case of this so you can steal her other children. Whatever.

Again folks that is aka Rhonda?

You have all been a great help to us, Yes the case is between my
husband and his
ex-wife..WE are thrilled that his daughter has decided to move in with us..but
of course even though his ex has stated in person, email, text messages to her
daughter, my husband, and even to me that although she is not happy
about it she
will let her stay with us(yes she is stupid enough to put in text message all
sorts of things)

On June 8th she called to ask if her daughter could stay with us until her
parents came home from Florida..for her wedding Aug 7th...because she
was out of
control?!?! and she can't hire a babysitter for a 17 year old(in June she was 2
weeks from 17)..nor could she leave her alone while she and her future husband
worked..there is a 7 year old also..but she had summer day care for
her..The out
of control is based on Mom doesn't like the daughters boyfriend..the daughter
has only gone on 3 out of school building dates with this young man in 2 1/2
years..her daughter also got a B+ in AP Chemistry...ok...of course she can stay
she is always welcome...Mom had threatened her all school year if she didn't
"get it together"..she was going to live with us...well it came to a
head..according to my stepdaughter and not denied by mom an argument became
physical while coming home from Lansing to St. Johns..Daughter became
scared..while mom, future stepdad and lil sis ran an errand...she called her
best friend to come and get her...they drove her to our house..

This was the evening of June 10th..we listened to his daughter tell what
happened...we live in Holt so I am sure she did not suspect she was at
our house
right away..but within an hour she called and demanded her daughter return to
her home NOW or stay with us her Senior year...My husband held the
phone so each
side could hear, while mom repeated herself...his daughter said she refused to
come home and wanted to stay with us...Her mother again made it clear that the
decision being made right then...was husband and I supported his

Two days later we had regular visitation planned with his 7 year old..she
dropped her off and on Sunday when we met to return her my ex without accusing
her of hitting her daughter while driving a car...asked what
happened..she again
said she lost it..she doesn't remember what she said or did..and didn't
care..whatever happened her daughter deserved...she stated she can stay with
you, you will find out how expensive she is(I have a 21y girl, and a 10y old
girl...yes we know)...handed over her driving permit information and said she
would arrange for all records to be changed....She called FOC first and changed
the daughters well as her school..she had asked us to pay half for
band camp...of course we said yes..before we could pay half...she paid
hers...fight with daughter living with us...she called
and had her
$350 refunded...its ok...not about the $ to us...but snarky on her part...they
fought(mother and daughter) during text messages and refusing to
give her any possession...she at one point said she needed to return home when
her sister came back from next visitation..(June 17th) Her daughter had said
numerous times she was not coming back...we went to FOC within 21 days(June
16th) and my husband spoke with a case worker..explained the details...Mom did
deliver all belongings including SS card, insurance cards, and birth
on June 24th...FOC had told my husband that if mom is saying she is agreeing
then just type a letter of agreement and submit it to them..they would
changes to child support and legal orders would be drawn up...well my husband
has a hard time with this....AS A LOT OF MEN BURNED LIKE HE HAS BEEN...we have
for the most part all gotten along because I see no point in behaving like
idiots...His ex said she wasn't writing it because she chose to leave
she wanted me to do it...send it to her..she would make changes..send it

Heck no..we have a family friend who is a family court lawyer..drafted an
agreement to everything mom has done in action, word, etc....well you know that
made it hit the fan so to speak...

I believe life is about relationships so we have encouraged her to mend her
situation with is not so forgiving..constantly on this girl..cell time they see each other...Mom was married in August...this
had not changed..we waited to see if things would heal and she would return to
mom...she does not want a matter of fact she wants to speak to the judge
if this is not done soon.....

Soooo the letter says exactly what she had written for visitation in her
original divorce/custody agreement..just reverse for her older daughter to come
there on opposite weekends that we have her sister...the agreement states "Both
parties agree to child support as recommended by FOC" Mom has spoken
about this,
said well she will have lived there for half the year so claim her on
taxes...etc..she has stated FOC should stop payment by my husband for the 17y
old living with us...continue with 7 year old as ordered...Okie no
problem..until the last line recommends the changes be made effective June

Oh HOLY could feel the earthquake in Lansing when she opened that
letter...she won't sign it..she is offended a lawyer drafted it...and she isn't
paying my husband back a dime...honestly we couldn't care less...We
paid in full
for band camp and all the other things like haircut hi-lights for her hair for
moms wedding..driving car...have and always will be
treated as another member of our family....She states she doesn't have
to pay us
anything because she said her daughter was to return on the 27th and
she was not
informed by daughter any different...flat out she delivered all her
belongings...changed her address..and said in numerous forms how her
daughter is
turning against her family and if she is happy here then fine..she will accept
it..but never forgive her for betraying her....NUT JOB

Ok...sorry for the lengthy description....we can pay $100 to file it as an
Ex-Parte motion..the lawyer feels this will send a strong message to her and to
the court that he is strong in wanting to do what is fair for all and best for
his older daughter...BUT also for his younger daughter...we have documented for
the past 3 years the parenting time violations she has made...we both feel we
should be flexible..i.e. Florida vacations with grandparents...with the wedding
and then the honeymoon we did not see his 7 year old for 6 weeks...she backed
out of the Florida trip with grandma and instead had her new in-laws care for
her 7 year old...although my husband very clearly asked for his daughter to be
with him for his weekend as soon as the plans fell through for the
trip...if she
was staying in Michigan he wanted her for his weekend..and offered to have her
for as many days as his ex would allow...she refused...said she was
not going to
put her new inlaws through this.....There is a very strong verbal and nonverbal
parental alienation...7 year old has said mom has told her she wishes
my husband
was not her dad..poor kid is confused....

Do we drop last sentence in order to get her to sign the agreement..or
submit it
as the lawyer advises...Mind you the only wait on our part was for a mother and
daughter to heal hurt feelings...We are thrilled to have her and to see her

As a part of the child support order revised last year..her income had gone
up..his we know what she submitted to the court for
income..normally we
would not care....She did qualify financially for MiChild...and even in the
recent revised order it says both parties should try to obtain comprehensive
commercial husbands work does not offer it...but mine does...we
asked to place them on my insurance 3 years ago..she threatened us and refused
to supply SS #'s...and kept the kids from my husband numerous times for up to 6
weeks....We decided when we saw the lawyer that we should add them..I already
pay for family...and it is great coverage and includes stepchildren not living
with us....Her new husband can also insure at least the 7 year old living there
if not both....

She had a FIT...and absolute FIT...screamed swore threatened that my husband
would never see his daughter again...that "YOU had no right to mess up my open
enrollment for my daughter" I don't want your insurance..I pay for
you do $100/yr and I as a taxpayer subsidize the rest...if income is
involved we
are clueless as to how she qualifies....this also resulted in my stepdaughter
telling me while we prepared for school Tuesday..that lunch is no problem...her
mom has a deal with the school where her lunch is only husband informed her of the federal income
guidelines and her income alone before child support of $42,000/year does not
qualify for reduced lunch...add in over $10,000 for child support that is
required to be recorded on the well as the income of any adult..New
husband is a GM engineer...great I like the guy...but come on...its on the form

My stepdaughter thinks it is disgusting her mom is fighting over repaying (if
the judge even orders it) about $200/mo and pretty soon to be 3 months....

As I said its not about the $ spent..not to us...but the games she is

When we inform FOC of the arrived today...will she be forced to
drop from the MiChild...all I can find is that it can't be used as a secondary
insurance...and supposedly upon enrollment in a comprehensive commercial
plan...the state drops them at the end of that month.

Does anyone have experience with this...

My husband is easily stressed by her games...I am more of a right is
right wrong
is wrong person...I would love her and allow her to live here no
matter what the
outcome...I have been married and divorced twice with two kids and opted out of
FOC both ex husband has liberal the point
he is very
close friends with my current husband...and the guys and our girls often fish
and golf together while I work...I can't stand to see my husband hurt...and now
to hear the brainwashing that his daughter is heartbreaking...we
remind her she will be an adult soon..and she has one mom..and she loves
her...and maybe she will have to move 75% of the way towards repairing this
relationship....our fears are now for her sister...
Help anyone...

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